i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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