So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
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Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
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I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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