I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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