I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize