just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
