why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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