thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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