laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize