Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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