But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
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I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
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I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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