dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
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I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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