Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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