sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
