Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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