I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?