I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
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Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.