Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol