You really coming over, don't trick.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize