Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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