do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"