bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.