The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?