apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.