but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
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I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.