when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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