yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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