why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
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ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
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I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??