You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it