Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name