I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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