So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.