I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.