I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.