no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.