oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ketchup is God's man juice
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....