i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night