Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head