She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize