I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize