I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
