He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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