What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
