Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize