Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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