I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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