my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I need to calm my uterus...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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