I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
