is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
