I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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