I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
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He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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