u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
