Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Houston, we have a squirter
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.