Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.