I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to