I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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