If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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