It was confusing and full of hummus
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
