i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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