the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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