Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize