I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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