ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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