i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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