just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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