no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
