so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
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I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
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Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.