if i can run in heels then i can drive
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize